Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. That's what research students are for.
A: Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.

Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ?
A: None-just assume it's changed.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
A: Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say "I wish I was up there !"

Q: How many admin assistants does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. I can't do anything unless you complete a lightbulb design change request form.

Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going "To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right..."

Q: How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, you know.

Q: How many people at an American football match does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to tip the entire contents of the ice bucket over the coach to congratulate him on a successful bulb screwing.

Q: How many American footballers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and the other to recover the fumble.

Q: How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32.......

Q: How many anglers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five, and you should've seen the light bulb! It must have been *this* big! Five of us were barely enough!

Q: How many AOL users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to watch him to make sure he doesn't say 'nipple'.
A: Eight. One screws in the lightbulb, but seven more do too, due to a software bug.
A: Eleven. One to ask to be on the lightbulb gif mailing list, nine to say "ME TOO!", and another to post a message asking for the intructions on how to view a lightbulb.

Q: How many A & R men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. "We're not changing any lightbulbs at the moment."
A: None. "Well, I'm going to go out on a beam on this one, but I liked it better without the lightbulb."

Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.

Q: How many armies does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: At least five. The Germans to start it, the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while, the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then try again from the other side, the Americans to turn up late and finish it off and take all the credit, and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?

Q: How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: Two, one to do it and one to say "Huh ! My four-year old could've done that!"

Q: How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They're never in the dark.
A: None. Atheists question whether it's really light anyway.
A: None. Atheists never "see the light" anyway do they ?

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.
A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket.