Q: How many ice skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw in the bulb, one to hire a hitman to club the other skater on the knee.

Q: How many IKEA shop assistans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Sorry, we ran out of light bulb stock. We expect it to arrive early next month. We do have ladders though! You just go straight on, then left and then right. No, thanks, anytime."

Q: How many inner-city gang members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four-one to rob the liquor store to get money for the bulb, one to drive the getaway car, one to screw it in, and one to hold his crack pipe while he does it.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb
A: Five, one to hold the light bulb and the other four to turn the ladder round and round !