Q: How many jerks who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Change it to what?

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Oh wow, is it like dark, man?
A: Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up.