|
Q: How many
neurophysiologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. One to remove the old bulb and examine it under the microscope
to find out what went wrong, one to blow a tube of glass into the bulb shape,
one to coil the tungsten wire filament, one to clean up the metal base of the
old bulb, one to operate the vacuum pump to get rid of the air in the bulb and
one to apply the glue to seal the new bulb into the old base. The new bulb won't
work, of course, but the whole process uses up a lot of expensive equipment and
keeps several intelligent people happily employed doing something totally useless.
Q: How many
new-agers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Ten. One to actually do it, and nine to stand around going "Hmmm well
I don't really mind who does it. I mean, I COULD do it, but of course I woudn't
want to impose my will upon anyone else..."
A: Two. One to change it & one to check the new one for bad psychic auras.(and
optionally another dozen to perform the dance of the renewal of the light.)
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to check the astrology.
A: Two. One to change it and one to work out whether it'll work in the
future.
Q:
How many new men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to hold the baby.
A: None. The consensus of opinion appears to be that there is no such
thing as a genuine new man, and in any event, the media, who like telling us
what we all like, have declared that women don't really go for new men anyway,
but instead prefer more masculinity nowadays.
Q: How many
new romantics does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to say "Wow, what an amazing concept,
man !"
Q:
How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.
Q: How many
nitpicks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just let someone else change it, then they point out all
the mistakes the bulb-changer made!
Q: How
many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do
with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
|