Q: How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty - one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction.
A: Six. One to change the bulb, and 5 to take the credit when it explodes.
A: Two: one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media.

Q: How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. It's up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.

Q: How many Thought Police does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There never was a light bulb...

Q: How many Tory MP's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it in and the other to hang himself accidentally from the flex performing a perverse sexual act involving womens underwear.
A: I'm sorry I can't tell you that, the light bulb changing service has been privatised and the information you require is commercially sensitive.

Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Q: How many trainspotters does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it, one to write its serial number down, and one to bring the anoraks and the flask of soup.

Q: How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: It's no use trying to CHANGE it, it's got to be SMASHED !!!