Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.
A: A tree in a golden forest.
A: Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
A: One to change and one not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four. One to change the bulb.
A: None. Zen masters carry their own light.
A: Three. Two to fetch the wood and one to enlighten the novice.